Trust .... the facts

Trust is an important issue, never underestimate it's value to you. So when you find yourself questioning trust, there's a reason, there always is. Understanding the reason allows you to make the informed choice.

Imagine a conversation between two people, it goes like this:

B) What's the matter?

A) I don't trust you

B) Why not?

A) I don't trust your judgement

B) That's interesting, why not?

A) Bad decisions that you make

B) Like what?

A) Oh you're not interested... <mumble mumble>

B) I am, that's why I asked

A) I don't want to talk about it

B) But I want to know what you mean, just give me an example

A) It doesn't matter now, forget it

B) It does matter, I want to know

A) It's the past, move on, get over it

B) I still want an example

A) You threw me out of my home at Christmas!

B) That's true, I did, and I told you why, I had reasons.

A) That's not good enough

B) Why not?

A) You don't just throw someone out of their home at Christmas

B) True

A) You shouldn't have done that to me

B) Why not?

A) Because you don't DO that

B) I explained at the time, did I not?

A) I can't talk to you

B) Why not?

A) You don't listen

B) I do

A) No you don't

B) Yes I do, when I ask you a question, you avoid answering it, you reply. I asked you what was the matter, you didn't tell me. I asked you what you wanted me to do and I did it, you said that wasn't enough. I did what I thought you wanted, still that wasn't enough. You wanted me to do things I didn't want to do, when I did them, still... it wasn't enough.

You said you were thinking of leaving, you were unhappy, you had been for weeks. When I asked you to explain why you refused. I suggested leaving and you made no attempt to discuss it. You knew I had nowhere else to go yet you stayed. You've said since that this was a 'tactic' .... waiting for things to 'blow over' and we could talk reasonably. What you meant was, when you felt in charge. You were waiting for me to agree.

I thought about it, I thought hard.

We weren't happy, we should have been - we'd planned it

we Could have been.              <past tense.

You were the one who was unhappy, you said you were unhappy with me. No matter what you said you wanted from me, when I gave, it wasn't enough. You were making me unhappy in the process. I made the decision to ask you to leave as a result.

You refused.

When grown ups have a relationship that makes them both unhappy, and they can't agree how to resolve it, they split up. That's sensible, that's logical, admitting and acknowledging that saves time and the reward either side is the new opportunity, to find happiness for themselves and their family.

A) You don't just give up

B) True, I don't...


it takes sometime to convince me. I know why exactly it won't work.

The truth is I have a horrible habit of thinking I can make most things be what I want. The problem is that I don't want that to be a forced issue with someone in my life. It's either the way they are, or not.

How can I love you when I know why you don't love yourself?

Would someone who loves you make it easier or harder? Would they add to your life or spoil it? If they spoil it, did someone else benefit, or did you?