Is it Too early or too late for a British summer heatwave prediction?
British summertime's have always been unpredictable, haven't they?
Still, there's a lot about the current weather that reminds me of the summer of 1976, which - if I remember rightly - was a long hot summer. Obviously I could be completely wrong.... or optimistic .... or optimistically right <flips coin>
Saturday 30 April 2011
William and Catherine - Congratulations
Many Congratulations to the new Royal Couple
Wishing you Both
Great Happiness Always
Prior to the first kiss: -
William: Kate....
Kate: Yes?
William: Shall we kiss now .........
Kate: Yes
William: .... or later........Okay - (turning into the first kiss)
They Kissed before William completed the sentence
(Lip read)
Paranoia?
Seems fashionable, as a term, but...
When used is it generally part of a clinical diagnosis by an appropriately qualified professional?
Or suggested 'dramatically' by a 'close' relative/friend/colleague?
(who benefits from the suggestion?)
Could it be a criticism used to shut someone up?
Or
A definitive descriptive word to describe (un)reasonable fear?
... Well, it could be either.
If you're the one who this may be suggested of, which would you believe applies?
More importantly,
Why would you believe that and how would you be sure?
It would have been fair, at the time, to accuse Ceasar of paranoia (as driving his decision to consult the Oracle) ..... Strangely, however, he had good reason to be fearful, though we can only appreciate that with historical evidence.
When used is it generally part of a clinical diagnosis by an appropriately qualified professional?
Or suggested 'dramatically' by a 'close' relative/friend/colleague?
(who benefits from the suggestion?)
Could it be a criticism used to shut someone up?
Or
A definitive descriptive word to describe (un)reasonable fear?
... Well, it could be either.
If you're the one who this may be suggested of, which would you believe applies?
More importantly,
Why would you believe that and how would you be sure?
It would have been fair, at the time, to accuse Ceasar of paranoia (as driving his decision to consult the Oracle) ..... Strangely, however, he had good reason to be fearful, though we can only appreciate that with historical evidence.
In sight...
Marmite? - I don't like it personally
TV Soaps? - I'm not much of a watcher of tv generally and actively avoid soap operas.
Cinema or DVD? - Depends on the occasion. In terms of daily choices, then the latter - if there's something I particularly want to watch. I sometimes think that I should make more of an effort to go to the cinema, but my kids are all of an age now where it's unlikely we'll find something that appeals to us all, which kind of negates the appeal of cinema now ...however, when they were young it was something we did fairly regularly. So the answer must be:- DVD - probably.
Wine, Beer or Whisky? - Yes, thank you -
Wine? - Red, White, and Rose are all enjoyable, I've no preference, they've each got some attractive quality and compliment in meal/course terms
Beer? - Cask Bitter preferably (I don't dislike lager but would not generally choose it)
Whisky? - Not a first choice beverage, though I do on rare occasions enjoy the likes of Talisker (neat ideally).
As for any other alcoholic choices, I'm pretty happy to enjoy .... though I draw the line at Martini (which I think tastes like bile).
Please don't mistake this as a detailed description of my weekly consumption
I don't drink that often, but if I feel like it... I do - as and when.
What do those answers tell you about me?
TV Soaps? - I'm not much of a watcher of tv generally and actively avoid soap operas.
Cinema or DVD? - Depends on the occasion. In terms of daily choices, then the latter - if there's something I particularly want to watch. I sometimes think that I should make more of an effort to go to the cinema, but my kids are all of an age now where it's unlikely we'll find something that appeals to us all, which kind of negates the appeal of cinema now ...however, when they were young it was something we did fairly regularly. So the answer must be:- DVD - probably.
Wine, Beer or Whisky? - Yes, thank you -
Wine? - Red, White, and Rose are all enjoyable, I've no preference, they've each got some attractive quality and compliment in meal/course terms
Beer? - Cask Bitter preferably (I don't dislike lager but would not generally choose it)
Whisky? - Not a first choice beverage, though I do on rare occasions enjoy the likes of Talisker (neat ideally).
As for any other alcoholic choices, I'm pretty happy to enjoy .... though I draw the line at Martini (which I think tastes like bile).
Please don't mistake this as a detailed description of my weekly consumption
I don't drink that often, but if I feel like it... I do - as and when.
What do those answers tell you about me?
Hypothesising...(in English)
About........................................
what language confers by expression when, by expression, information is deliberately witheld
some time ago.......
A (text based) conversation between a couple whose previous relationship is 'officially' over....
He's explained (to the ex) that he's now in a new and already well established long-term relationship, which commenced within 2 months of 'theirs' ending.
She asks (for her own reasons), "Do you love her more than me?" expecting a yes or no response,
instead...
He replies, "You know I'm not going to answer that question".
The immediate questions now - in her mind - are:
- Is that a reasonable response?
- Why would he answer like that?
- What am I expected to know?
- Why would that question be difficult to answer?
Clearly she can expect no further illuminating explanation from the source, this leaves
Conjecture
Possible reason(s):
a) He doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings
- How does that work?
- It doesn't.
b) He doesn't want to hurt her by admitting, Yes, when - in fact, he does
(Implausible. Given that the relationship level is mutually understood, it would seem fair and reasonable to expect the answer to be 'yes' or to at least suggest (by confirmation) this is indeed the case)
Yet, there Must be A reason.
b) Perhaps he does Not, but admitting this could - potentially -
c) Alternatively, there is no Yes or No answer as neither apply.
This would also explain the expected prior knowledge, and understanding,
both prompted by reference.
Anyway,
I've always loved the use of words - for all their descriptive actions, nuance, and implicit meaning.
Perhaps that's the beauty of APD - appreciation by respect and corresponding under standing.
what language confers by expression when, by expression, information is deliberately witheld
some time ago.......
A (text based) conversation between a couple whose previous relationship is 'officially' over....
He's explained (to the ex) that he's now in a new and already well established long-term relationship, which commenced within 2 months of 'theirs' ending.
She asks (for her own reasons), "Do you love her more than me?" expecting a yes or no response,
instead...
He replies, "You know I'm not going to answer that question".
The immediate questions now - in her mind - are:
- Is that a reasonable response?
- Why would he answer like that?
- What am I expected to know?
- Why would that question be difficult to answer?
Clearly she can expect no further illuminating explanation from the source, this leaves
Conjecture
μαντεύω
Possible reason(s):
a) He doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings
- How does that work?
- It doesn't.
b) He doesn't want to hurt her by admitting, Yes, when - in fact, he does
(Implausible. Given that the relationship level is mutually understood, it would seem fair and reasonable to expect the answer to be 'yes' or to at least suggest (by confirmation) this is indeed the case)
Yet, there Must be A reason.
b) Perhaps he does Not, but admitting this could - potentially -
- Jeopardise the new relationship i.e. by effectively betraying his partner through admission
- Encourage the ex-partner to continue communication and so prolong contact
- Humiliate him by admission/confession.
c) Alternatively, there is no Yes or No answer as neither apply.
This would also explain the expected prior knowledge, and understanding,
both prompted by reference.
Anyway,
I've always loved the use of words - for all their descriptive actions, nuance, and implicit meaning.
Perhaps that's the beauty of APD - appreciation by respect and corresponding under standing.
Prepared to lie....
When demanded in question, "Did you ......?" the message conveyed is - "Will Not be happy if, in some way, you admit this".
If the scenario. for example, involves a child who's asked the agitated question beginning with, "Did you...", they'll quickly learn to assess and understand the underlying implicit suggestion and modify their response according to experience and outcome knowledge.
How often do children, in a confrontational situation, begin their answers with denial?
Denial, though not always, frequently demonstrates taught avoidance techniques to minimise consequences.
If, however, they ask, "Why?" (which maybe appended to their answer) they are both stalling and attempting to gauge the extent of the potential ramifications.
When the answer to their query is, "Just wondered" - the potential consequences are being withheld.
This is also true of any exchange, regardless of age.
Perhaps more interesting is the underlying conversation, which if I were to paraphrase might go something like this,
"Try telling me All (anything) - that won't make me annoyed with YOU!"
"Err.... how about, I did not do the thing you're annoyed about"
OR,
"Why, do I need to lie?"
"Not telling".
Or to para phrase in a more succinct way: "Try All" by "Err".... "Or"
If the scenario. for example, involves a child who's asked the agitated question beginning with, "Did you...", they'll quickly learn to assess and understand the underlying implicit suggestion and modify their response according to experience and outcome knowledge.
How often do children, in a confrontational situation, begin their answers with denial?
Denial, though not always, frequently demonstrates taught avoidance techniques to minimise consequences.
If, however, they ask, "Why?" (which maybe appended to their answer) they are both stalling and attempting to gauge the extent of the potential ramifications.
When the answer to their query is, "Just wondered" - the potential consequences are being withheld.
This is also true of any exchange, regardless of age.
Perhaps more interesting is the underlying conversation, which if I were to paraphrase might go something like this,
"Try telling me All (anything) - that won't make me annoyed with YOU!"
"Err.... how about, I did not do the thing you're annoyed about"
OR,
"Why, do I need to lie?"
"Not telling".
Or to para phrase in a more succinct way: "Try All" by "Err".... "Or"
Sunday 17 April 2011
Eve'ning Elements
Saatchi Showdown
Competition
Now Until - April 26, 2011, 11:59 am
Sadly, Saatchi have recently changed the procedure for their public competition due to a number of complaints. However, the new format involves having several hours available to peruse the thousands of entries in order to make your selection.
Entries are displayed two per page - presented as - one vs the other.
The current showdown has over 5 thousand entries.
I can't provide a link to the piece I've included, but I can at least let anyone reading this know which one of my paintings has been entered:-
Saatchi's changes to the showdown competition were intended to provide a fairer system however, I suspect, the best pieces within the competition may never be seen (or judged) by the public simply because few of us nowadays have sufficient sustained interest to continue through 2 thousand (or so) web pages (and all the loading time involved) to view the entries in order to make a fair and personal choice.
That said, anyone who actually finds my entry (Well Done!) and then votes for it (Yay!!!) is to be applauded and much appreciated!
Saturday 16 April 2011
False laughter....
It's a strange and yet common phenomena that's acted out in a variety of settings.
Why do people pretend to laugh?
For acceptance... ?
Fortunately, it's not something I've had to pretend about much myself. Though there have been occasions when I too have felt the need to - in support of a partner - by responding to their expressions of humour by emitting those 'sounds of approval'. However, those are the exceptions, generally I've not had to feel obliged in this respect. I've laughed because something has genuinely amused me, though this hasn't always been the expected reaction (and that too has added to my amusement).... rarely have I felt the need to suppress it.
My next door neighbours are currently in their back garden and the mother is playing with her two young children.
I'm guessing that this is the case by the sound of her forced laughter.
This in turn made me wonder who is the intended audience, not least because it was only a couple of hours ago that I was thinking that I have never heard that woman laugh.
I maybe biased, having decided some months ago that I don't actually like her, although I've had very limited exchanges with the woman. I moved into this house - approx 18 months ago - she has never introduced herself, and I don't apportion blame there... afterall, neither have I.
Last summer I acquired two pups - a labrador and a jack russell. Over the months since we've had a number of brief conversations through the branches of the privet hedge that forms the boundary to each garden. She seemed friendly enough during these, but yet unfriendly (if that makes sense).
When my labrador realised that with very little effort, he could gain access to her garden (which held a selection of toys) and say hello to the much older resident dog, she accepted my apologies and permitted me to retrieve him without complaint. Since then both puppies have played Houdini and explored their garden several times, despite the number of measures I've taken to prevent this.
I thought I'd finally resolved the problem after attaching lengths of chicken wire to the privet. However, they found a couple of weak areas and I was surprised (and alarmed) to discover, after a brief and hurried shopping trip, my labrador wandering along the roadside outside my house.
When this happened another 2 occasions, I figured out how he was getting into her garden and that THIS explained why she'd suddenly started leaving her gate open.
As a mother of four children myself, I understand why it must be annoying to have a neighbours dog break into your private garden, especially when this is the area designated for the children to play in. Having said that though, I do feel it says a lot about a mother who then (knowingly) makes the open road available to such a very young animal.
Why do people pretend to laugh?
For acceptance... ?
Fortunately, it's not something I've had to pretend about much myself. Though there have been occasions when I too have felt the need to - in support of a partner - by responding to their expressions of humour by emitting those 'sounds of approval'. However, those are the exceptions, generally I've not had to feel obliged in this respect. I've laughed because something has genuinely amused me, though this hasn't always been the expected reaction (and that too has added to my amusement).... rarely have I felt the need to suppress it.
My next door neighbours are currently in their back garden and the mother is playing with her two young children.
I'm guessing that this is the case by the sound of her forced laughter.
This in turn made me wonder who is the intended audience, not least because it was only a couple of hours ago that I was thinking that I have never heard that woman laugh.
I maybe biased, having decided some months ago that I don't actually like her, although I've had very limited exchanges with the woman. I moved into this house - approx 18 months ago - she has never introduced herself, and I don't apportion blame there... afterall, neither have I.
Last summer I acquired two pups - a labrador and a jack russell. Over the months since we've had a number of brief conversations through the branches of the privet hedge that forms the boundary to each garden. She seemed friendly enough during these, but yet unfriendly (if that makes sense).
When my labrador realised that with very little effort, he could gain access to her garden (which held a selection of toys) and say hello to the much older resident dog, she accepted my apologies and permitted me to retrieve him without complaint. Since then both puppies have played Houdini and explored their garden several times, despite the number of measures I've taken to prevent this.
I thought I'd finally resolved the problem after attaching lengths of chicken wire to the privet. However, they found a couple of weak areas and I was surprised (and alarmed) to discover, after a brief and hurried shopping trip, my labrador wandering along the roadside outside my house.
When this happened another 2 occasions, I figured out how he was getting into her garden and that THIS explained why she'd suddenly started leaving her gate open.
As a mother of four children myself, I understand why it must be annoying to have a neighbours dog break into your private garden, especially when this is the area designated for the children to play in. Having said that though, I do feel it says a lot about a mother who then (knowingly) makes the open road available to such a very young animal.
Friday 8 April 2011
Answering APD questions...
I suspect most people don't want to offend so don't ask what might be awkward questions but, without asking how is knowledge gained and shared.
Assumptions are always dangerous because, not least, they may be completely wrong and so questions do need to be asked and the answers understood.
So, I'll try my best to answer some questions....
Q) Does APD affect speech only or does misunderstanding affect written word?
A) APD is associated with Dyslexia because, in many respects it seems similar.
I don't believe I have difficulty understanding written or spoken word (what I hear), though it is a double-edged sword in many respects.
APD is about processing differently, whereas misunderstanding is understanding incorrectly. It's almost impossible to misunderstand what you haven't heard.
I may not process all or part of an audible comment and so, in order to clarify (or tactically delay... or something), I might repeat what I think may have been said and get it wrong - which could give the erroneous impression that I misunderstood when the reality is that there is part of what was said that I didn't understand and I want to.
If we accept that (at least in the English language) it's possible that one word, phrase, comment or paragraph could carry more meaning. As example, double entendres are often used for humorous effect (they're also more prevalent unconsciously in verbal speech than written).
Written language forms are more likely to be specific, less open to interpretation than verbalised expressions because the author of any written detail has more time to monitor and eliminate (edit) potential implications that are not intended and so additional suggestions/interpretations are included within conscious (and unconscious) reasoning.
In other words, it's usually meant.
I remember English exercises that involved several sentences that had one word missing, the exercise involved placing the correct word (from a list of 20 - probably) in each sentence so that they all made sense.
APD is often like that - the difference being that there maybe more than one word missing and it maybe the key word or words and I have to create my own list.
What I might hear may not give me the full content or context. I've learnt how to mentally record sound(s), associate vocabulary and knowledge and how best to join the two to provide myself a better approximation (if I attempt to guess).
So when I ask, "What?" it maybe a delay tactic to give me time to process. I'm rarely asking for the full speech, but I can't necessarily identify the particular word(s) I want repeated simply because I didn't hear it/them. Any change in the comment will however be noticed because it will Sound different and I'll note the change in sound. This must be a strategical development to compensate for momentary processing losses.
There's a test (I forget what for) that involves flash type cards and questions. For example, you might be asked, "What colour is the word?" and be presented with a card on which is the word - Blue -
(yet it's written in Red).
I don't know how long other people take to answer and how accurate their answers are within the defined parameters of the test, but it's about the processing involved. Perhaps thinking about that test will give an idea of what APD is sometimes like.
Basically I'm analysing every comment, facial expression and all associated gestures to identify any potential gaps in audible comment and the most probable corresponding words in order to place these within the comment and make sense of what was said. That's why I may repeat back to someone, I'm checking if what I think was probably said matches what was Actually said and also monitoring reaction to see if I've changed the words, and the possible meanings.
Processing takes time and so this may be why I don't respond immediately.
I may also appear to day dream - that could be because I'm thinking about what has been said and potential interpretations and their implications. Or I didn't hear at all because I'm totally absorbed in something else. Or there's too much background noise and I've realised there's no way I'm going to hear no matter how many times someone is willing to repeat a comment and anyway, it spoils the flow of conversation in a group conversation - so I may give up.
With regard to understanding written information specifically: - I was always in top sets and achieved high marks in school, particularly in English, Maths, Science and Art
Q) Would paraphrasing assist understanding?
A) Sometimes it would, sometimes that's because - if it's the person who made the comment who then rephrases - I may be able to identify the exact words originally used and what they initially intended me to know or hear.
Sometimes it doesn't help because, - although the person making the comment knows exactly what they mean they may be expecting me to understand when in fact, - they're not explaining or engaging properly.
To give an example, I might be driving my son (who's sat behind me in the car) to school. He makes a comment and I might not hear enough to know what he said in fact, I might not hear him at all. It could be because I'm not processing or he's looking out of the window and mumbling. As I can't see his face lip reading is ruled out and there's a lot of background noise that other people don't notice which I can't switch off - Traffic, engine, weather (rain/wind) etc. If he repeats the comment, he may raise his voice but not the direction (he might be looking at his mobile phone).
People do get bored easily, and frequently annoyed- when repeating a comment - they'll look somewhere else and the key word or combination might still be mumbled, and lack audible emphasis (sufficient enunciation) etc and it's this that makes identifying the intended information more difficult.
Q) Do I hear the word but not the meaning? (like the time I was sent to buy cigarettes)
A) My Mum knew what she wanted me to do - I didn't.
She gave me a lot of money and a huge basket while mentioning sweets -
That is what I heard - the size of the basket along with the amount of money suggested a LOT of sweets.
I was amazed
I was also approximately 7- 8 years old and I'd never bought cigarettes before.
Realising that I may not have heard her exactly - I repeated the instructions I had heard back to her. The basket was significant. (a huge basket - for what?).
When I repeated the instructions, asking for confirmation, and as far as I was aware my Mum didn't point out that there was any missing item - she agreed and I didn't hear any mention of cigarettes - again.
To answer your question - who made the mistake?
I don't know, at the time I had no idea that cigarettes were involved until my Mum came to the shops to find me.
I've considered the possibility that cigarettes were mentioned and whether or not I simply didn't process, but that would also mean I didn't process a number of associated things - the brand, how many, a recommended shop and that these weren't heard repeatedly. I can not state that isn't possible.
What does seem probable is that, given my age, the word Sweets caught and kept my attention. I was totally distracted by my own thoughts (how many could I buy?) rather than listening to all the instructions my Mum gave.
If that's true, and it's certainly possible, then I'm not sure it's entirely due to APD. However, I can't rule that out.
Q) Do things like tiredness, stress, alcohol have an impact?
A) Yes.
Tiredness, stress and alcohol affect people's speech and terminology. Speech maybe slurred, incoherent and rapid. So THEIR audible comments are more difficult to understand.
For example, if someone with an accent was talking to you with slurred rapid speech how well do you think you'd hear and identify each word?
Whereas, whatever state I'm in (be it tired, stressed or inebriated) I'm highly motivated to comprehend - in other words, by habit I'm keen to know Exactly what's said to or around me.
However, if I'm not processing - I may not realise that I'm not processing.
Q) How long was involved in the diagnosis of APD and what prompted this?
A) About an hour altogether (with a Consultant Audiologist who Knew about APD).
In 2008 I was in a new relationship with a mumbler who complained about repeat requests.
As a child I'd had all the usual school based hearing tests and passed with flying colours (perfect hearing). I'd noticed during their infancy that my two eldest children had some hearing issues and they were investigated (having hearing tests - along with myself). They had grommets inserted and I was told, yet again, that I have perfect hearing.
Asking people to repeat comments causes problems (they're often angry in response).
I went to my GP, in 2008, thinking that, perhaps, the problem was an age related issue - a lot of people suffer some loss of hearing as they age. It seemed possible this was something I had to consider and I was referred to the consultant audiologist for tests.
The consultant informed me that I have perfect hearing, but then went onto explain how it was the processing of sound that randomly affected me and demonstrated by turning off his computer (hard drives have fans that make a lot of noise) and other appliances in his office. He told me how these background sounds make little or no difference for everyone else because they can be filtered out (mentally turned off) whereas I can't do that, so speech sounds are nearly always heard within the context of a host of competing noise - any of which might distract me (causing an apparent occasional random loss of hearing).
In other words, everyone else is generally unaware of background sounds whereas I'm conscious of all sounds in proximity.
Living with APD is a lifetime experience. Dealing with it means developing a range of strategies, a lot of these are primarily avoiding potential anger and so is very hard work. I have had to learn how to consider political implications that I'm unaware of and a host of additional things.
Q) Do different tones of voice make a difference high pitch/low pitch dialect etc
A) Yes, very much so.
All things that affect or are inclusive integral aspects of speech are contributory factors in understanding and conversely associated with difficulty in achieving this.
People maybe laughing, mumbling, shouting, whispering, turning direction (looking away), talking rapidly when making a comment. Gestures:- holding a hand or object in front of the mouth. Intonation, inflection, emphasis etc..... all of this makes it difficult to isolate words.
Telephone conversations are particularly difficult because any one, or combination, of these factors may come into play along with the additional background and 'white noise' of a telephone line. Speech sound quality is also degraded - so I avoid using them wherever possible.
Chicken or egg questions come to mind in several respects....
While making any comment someone is basically producing a sequence of code to express their particular thoughts (along with the underlying process) or to effect a response, share information, understanding, ability, limitations and expectations. Or, conceal any of these.
Q) Am I right in thinking it appears randomly in that the same word may be understood in one context but not in another.
A) Yes, in terms of processing.
But processing involves the ability to recognise sequence and/or specific phraseology implication and the possible variations in definition by context..
Everyone could mistake the intention if a word is used Out of context. or is open to interpretation.
If a word appears to be out of context but informational, I'd question in order to ascertain the specific implication.
Context should readily identify by reference/associaton the meaning of any given word, regardless of the permutations available - unless.... there are a number (by context) that Could be applied. In which case, I will ask specific questions - prompted by the possible alternative meanings.
Having said all that.... if I'm not processing... I may not be aware of the associated expectations and repeating a comment may not help either.
Assumptions are always dangerous because, not least, they may be completely wrong and so questions do need to be asked and the answers understood.
So, I'll try my best to answer some questions....
Q) Does APD affect speech only or does misunderstanding affect written word?
A) APD is associated with Dyslexia because, in many respects it seems similar.
I don't believe I have difficulty understanding written or spoken word (what I hear), though it is a double-edged sword in many respects.
APD is about processing differently, whereas misunderstanding is understanding incorrectly. It's almost impossible to misunderstand what you haven't heard.
I may not process all or part of an audible comment and so, in order to clarify (or tactically delay... or something), I might repeat what I think may have been said and get it wrong - which could give the erroneous impression that I misunderstood when the reality is that there is part of what was said that I didn't understand and I want to.
If we accept that (at least in the English language) it's possible that one word, phrase, comment or paragraph could carry more meaning. As example, double entendres are often used for humorous effect (they're also more prevalent unconsciously in verbal speech than written).
Written language forms are more likely to be specific, less open to interpretation than verbalised expressions because the author of any written detail has more time to monitor and eliminate (edit) potential implications that are not intended and so additional suggestions/interpretations are included within conscious (and unconscious) reasoning.
In other words, it's usually meant.
I remember English exercises that involved several sentences that had one word missing, the exercise involved placing the correct word (from a list of 20 - probably) in each sentence so that they all made sense.
APD is often like that - the difference being that there maybe more than one word missing and it maybe the key word or words and I have to create my own list.
What I might hear may not give me the full content or context. I've learnt how to mentally record sound(s), associate vocabulary and knowledge and how best to join the two to provide myself a better approximation (if I attempt to guess).
So when I ask, "What?" it maybe a delay tactic to give me time to process. I'm rarely asking for the full speech, but I can't necessarily identify the particular word(s) I want repeated simply because I didn't hear it/them. Any change in the comment will however be noticed because it will Sound different and I'll note the change in sound. This must be a strategical development to compensate for momentary processing losses.
There's a test (I forget what for) that involves flash type cards and questions. For example, you might be asked, "What colour is the word?" and be presented with a card on which is the word - Blue -
(yet it's written in Red).
I don't know how long other people take to answer and how accurate their answers are within the defined parameters of the test, but it's about the processing involved. Perhaps thinking about that test will give an idea of what APD is sometimes like.
Basically I'm analysing every comment, facial expression and all associated gestures to identify any potential gaps in audible comment and the most probable corresponding words in order to place these within the comment and make sense of what was said. That's why I may repeat back to someone, I'm checking if what I think was probably said matches what was Actually said and also monitoring reaction to see if I've changed the words, and the possible meanings.
Processing takes time and so this may be why I don't respond immediately.
I may also appear to day dream - that could be because I'm thinking about what has been said and potential interpretations and their implications. Or I didn't hear at all because I'm totally absorbed in something else. Or there's too much background noise and I've realised there's no way I'm going to hear no matter how many times someone is willing to repeat a comment and anyway, it spoils the flow of conversation in a group conversation - so I may give up.
With regard to understanding written information specifically: - I was always in top sets and achieved high marks in school, particularly in English, Maths, Science and Art
Q) Would paraphrasing assist understanding?
A) Sometimes it would, sometimes that's because - if it's the person who made the comment who then rephrases - I may be able to identify the exact words originally used and what they initially intended me to know or hear.
Sometimes it doesn't help because, - although the person making the comment knows exactly what they mean they may be expecting me to understand when in fact, - they're not explaining or engaging properly.
To give an example, I might be driving my son (who's sat behind me in the car) to school. He makes a comment and I might not hear enough to know what he said in fact, I might not hear him at all. It could be because I'm not processing or he's looking out of the window and mumbling. As I can't see his face lip reading is ruled out and there's a lot of background noise that other people don't notice which I can't switch off - Traffic, engine, weather (rain/wind) etc. If he repeats the comment, he may raise his voice but not the direction (he might be looking at his mobile phone).
People do get bored easily, and frequently annoyed- when repeating a comment - they'll look somewhere else and the key word or combination might still be mumbled, and lack audible emphasis (sufficient enunciation) etc and it's this that makes identifying the intended information more difficult.
Q) Do I hear the word but not the meaning? (like the time I was sent to buy cigarettes)
A) My Mum knew what she wanted me to do - I didn't.
She gave me a lot of money and a huge basket while mentioning sweets -
That is what I heard - the size of the basket along with the amount of money suggested a LOT of sweets.
I was amazed
I was also approximately 7- 8 years old and I'd never bought cigarettes before.
Realising that I may not have heard her exactly - I repeated the instructions I had heard back to her. The basket was significant. (a huge basket - for what?).
When I repeated the instructions, asking for confirmation, and as far as I was aware my Mum didn't point out that there was any missing item - she agreed and I didn't hear any mention of cigarettes - again.
To answer your question - who made the mistake?
I don't know, at the time I had no idea that cigarettes were involved until my Mum came to the shops to find me.
I've considered the possibility that cigarettes were mentioned and whether or not I simply didn't process, but that would also mean I didn't process a number of associated things - the brand, how many, a recommended shop and that these weren't heard repeatedly. I can not state that isn't possible.
What does seem probable is that, given my age, the word Sweets caught and kept my attention. I was totally distracted by my own thoughts (how many could I buy?) rather than listening to all the instructions my Mum gave.
If that's true, and it's certainly possible, then I'm not sure it's entirely due to APD. However, I can't rule that out.
Q) Do things like tiredness, stress, alcohol have an impact?
A) Yes.
Tiredness, stress and alcohol affect people's speech and terminology. Speech maybe slurred, incoherent and rapid. So THEIR audible comments are more difficult to understand.
For example, if someone with an accent was talking to you with slurred rapid speech how well do you think you'd hear and identify each word?
Whereas, whatever state I'm in (be it tired, stressed or inebriated) I'm highly motivated to comprehend - in other words, by habit I'm keen to know Exactly what's said to or around me.
However, if I'm not processing - I may not realise that I'm not processing.
Q) How long was involved in the diagnosis of APD and what prompted this?
A) About an hour altogether (with a Consultant Audiologist who Knew about APD).
In 2008 I was in a new relationship with a mumbler who complained about repeat requests.
As a child I'd had all the usual school based hearing tests and passed with flying colours (perfect hearing). I'd noticed during their infancy that my two eldest children had some hearing issues and they were investigated (having hearing tests - along with myself). They had grommets inserted and I was told, yet again, that I have perfect hearing.
Asking people to repeat comments causes problems (they're often angry in response).
I went to my GP, in 2008, thinking that, perhaps, the problem was an age related issue - a lot of people suffer some loss of hearing as they age. It seemed possible this was something I had to consider and I was referred to the consultant audiologist for tests.
The consultant informed me that I have perfect hearing, but then went onto explain how it was the processing of sound that randomly affected me and demonstrated by turning off his computer (hard drives have fans that make a lot of noise) and other appliances in his office. He told me how these background sounds make little or no difference for everyone else because they can be filtered out (mentally turned off) whereas I can't do that, so speech sounds are nearly always heard within the context of a host of competing noise - any of which might distract me (causing an apparent occasional random loss of hearing).
In other words, everyone else is generally unaware of background sounds whereas I'm conscious of all sounds in proximity.
Living with APD is a lifetime experience. Dealing with it means developing a range of strategies, a lot of these are primarily avoiding potential anger and so is very hard work. I have had to learn how to consider political implications that I'm unaware of and a host of additional things.
Q) Do different tones of voice make a difference high pitch/low pitch dialect etc
A) Yes, very much so.
All things that affect or are inclusive integral aspects of speech are contributory factors in understanding and conversely associated with difficulty in achieving this.
People maybe laughing, mumbling, shouting, whispering, turning direction (looking away), talking rapidly when making a comment. Gestures:- holding a hand or object in front of the mouth. Intonation, inflection, emphasis etc..... all of this makes it difficult to isolate words.
Telephone conversations are particularly difficult because any one, or combination, of these factors may come into play along with the additional background and 'white noise' of a telephone line. Speech sound quality is also degraded - so I avoid using them wherever possible.
Chicken or egg questions come to mind in several respects....
While making any comment someone is basically producing a sequence of code to express their particular thoughts (along with the underlying process) or to effect a response, share information, understanding, ability, limitations and expectations. Or, conceal any of these.
Q) Am I right in thinking it appears randomly in that the same word may be understood in one context but not in another.
A) Yes, in terms of processing.
But processing involves the ability to recognise sequence and/or specific phraseology implication and the possible variations in definition by context..
Everyone could mistake the intention if a word is used Out of context. or is open to interpretation.
If a word appears to be out of context but informational, I'd question in order to ascertain the specific implication.
Context should readily identify by reference/associaton the meaning of any given word, regardless of the permutations available - unless.... there are a number (by context) that Could be applied. In which case, I will ask specific questions - prompted by the possible alternative meanings.
Having said all that.... if I'm not processing... I may not be aware of the associated expectations and repeating a comment may not help either.
Tuesday 5 April 2011
Leading and denial....
Proof?
...
A perspective?
Any thing could be construed as proof.
Negating is denial.
Denial is often, and sometimes rightly, considered as proof:
Accusation, question and suggestion are inclusive of predetermined implication and..... causal factors
The difference - in terms of madness vs sanity- is, by general description, the (in)ability to make rational and reasoned credible subjective/objective argument. What's perhaps more interesting is the idea that the majority are sane in agreement, when in fact, this may not actually be the case and so can't be accepted as proof
Take 'Paranoia' as an example. It's a commonly used modern day (accusatory) term often exercised when ideas, or expressions of personal experience are not considered acceptable, appropriate and/or evidential.
Who judges whether these expressions are accurate, or not, given that any role is selected by underlying motivators that may be contrary to indication?
For example (a controversial but well established form): - Religion
Usually the first branch of religion any child encounters is through their parent - who, by default, has greatest influence over the child's immediate needs, experience and thought development.
Education is provided as the next tier and first obvious corroboration and constrained level in social engagement of order, directed doctrines and discipline (Rules - Morals - Values).
Within these two principle experiences of information, and socially accepted norms of authority, control is achieved and exercised with strategic implementation of rewards, punishment and establishing recognition in the absence of either (which in itself is a form of reward and/or punishment).
So underpinning this is what motivates those who select positions responsible for control.To understand that we have to consider how it's applied and what we know about each role in terms of what is socially expected and what has been associated historically as not.
In addition there are support roles within the frames of each - Family (Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins etc), peer groups, friends, community.
The principle roles in religious appreciation are generally: -
Parents
Teachers
Priests.
What do we know about each role that is good?
What has been established - in fact - as bad?
When we're able to acknowledge and understand these differences we're then in a better position to appreciate and judge our own motivations and choices: - those of others who may wish to influence, how they're rewarded and what that provides - and then judge with both subjectivity and objectivity.
Not forgetting that the majority of us would consider that simple exercise as too complicated to spend time considering in order to arrive at a fair conclusion.
Easier to apply labels and dis associations.......
.
...
A perspective?
Any thing could be construed as proof.
Negating is denial.
Denial is often, and sometimes rightly, considered as proof:
Accusation, question and suggestion are inclusive of predetermined implication and..... causal factors
yet .."The lady doth protest too much, methinks" .so miss-associated
The difference - in terms of madness vs sanity- is, by general description, the (in)ability to make rational and reasoned credible subjective/objective argument. What's perhaps more interesting is the idea that the majority are sane in agreement, when in fact, this may not actually be the case and so can't be accepted as proof
Take 'Paranoia' as an example. It's a commonly used modern day (accusatory) term often exercised when ideas, or expressions of personal experience are not considered acceptable, appropriate and/or evidential.
Who judges whether these expressions are accurate, or not, given that any role is selected by underlying motivators that may be contrary to indication?
For example (a controversial but well established form): - Religion
Usually the first branch of religion any child encounters is through their parent - who, by default, has greatest influence over the child's immediate needs, experience and thought development.
Education is provided as the next tier and first obvious corroboration and constrained level in social engagement of order, directed doctrines and discipline (Rules - Morals - Values).
Within these two principle experiences of information, and socially accepted norms of authority, control is achieved and exercised with strategic implementation of rewards, punishment and establishing recognition in the absence of either (which in itself is a form of reward and/or punishment).
So underpinning this is what motivates those who select positions responsible for control.To understand that we have to consider how it's applied and what we know about each role in terms of what is socially expected and what has been associated historically as not.
In addition there are support roles within the frames of each - Family (Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins etc), peer groups, friends, community.
The principle roles in religious appreciation are generally: -
Parents
Teachers
Priests.
What do we know about each role that is good?
What has been established - in fact - as bad?
When we're able to acknowledge and understand these differences we're then in a better position to appreciate and judge our own motivations and choices: - those of others who may wish to influence, how they're rewarded and what that provides - and then judge with both subjectivity and objectivity.
Not forgetting that the majority of us would consider that simple exercise as too complicated to spend time considering in order to arrive at a fair conclusion.
Easier to apply labels and dis associations.......
.
Monday 4 April 2011
Embarrassment....
Whilst I can't say that small children have never heard me describe something in profane terms... these have been rare exceptions and not the rule. Though there have certainly been many times I've thought in those terms outside of my home, unlike someone with Tourettes (for example) I am sufficiently aware of what is not appropriate and not indulged myself by publically broadcasting my opinion.
Embarrassment is something people fear, and something we all (to some extent) avoid.
When I've encountered it it's generally belonged to others and is, I suspect, often associated with those occasions when I have difficulty getting someone to repeat their comment(s).
Though this does make it more interesting -
Embarrassment is something people fear, and something we all (to some extent) avoid.
When I've encountered it it's generally belonged to others and is, I suspect, often associated with those occasions when I have difficulty getting someone to repeat their comment(s).
Though this does make it more interesting -
- for me.
How do you think you'd feel...
...... I know this is going to sound such a strange question, but .... that's never stopped me from asking those in the past and I am genuinely curious,
What if .... at the moment you met
(theoretically)
God
and they (he/she/it/whateveritis/thething) says,
"Hello, nice to meet you at long last".
Would you sigh with relief or would It worry you?
.
.
What if .... at the moment you met
(theoretically)
God
and they (he/she/it/whateveritis/thething) says,
"Hello, nice to meet you at long last".
Would you sigh with relief or would It worry you?
.
.
Humanist?
Consensus.... who's opinion?
With regards to mental ability, Genius and Madness are considered to be extremes in description, but are principally labels of appreciation/understanding and recognition - in credibility. If anyone, within a small group, exclaimed that the world (without scientific evidence or corroboration supporting the theory) and every part of our universe were the result of a 'big bang' and insisted this was true, the probability is that this person would be at least treated as ridiculous if this idea went against the prevailing explanation. Arguments against the supposition are likely to include sceptical dismissal or, potentially, accusation in a form of madness by association.
Whereas, with a background appreciation of empirical scientific evidence and method, any scientific theory can (and frequently is) accepted upon proposal within the boundaries of credibility they stand on. So in effect, it's a matter of repute that finds more acceptance and by definition claims and is awarded credibility - what's considered in general terms as such.
Conversely, within the boundaries of madness, anything can be stated and be as true or evidently not without distinction in real terms or appreciation. What makes one description more applicable than an other is, I suspect, largely based on what's generally considered normal (though in modern terms - more often than not - the consensus of opinion is that 'normal' defies definition).
In other words, science is bordering on, without Actually accusing the masses of some form of insanity within 'delusional' frame terms - as the majority of the civilised (and uncivilised) world have some belief system that goes against the acknowledged scientific explanation of the world - GOD and/or any spiritual beliefs.
Science can't find evidence of a God and so the current premise is that ... scientifically, there is no God or any of the known associations.
Delusional?
Who is?
Who gains from that belief? - Who doesn't and Who decides?
Whereas, with a background appreciation of empirical scientific evidence and method, any scientific theory can (and frequently is) accepted upon proposal within the boundaries of credibility they stand on. So in effect, it's a matter of repute that finds more acceptance and by definition claims and is awarded credibility - what's considered in general terms as such.
Conversely, within the boundaries of madness, anything can be stated and be as true or evidently not without distinction in real terms or appreciation. What makes one description more applicable than an other is, I suspect, largely based on what's generally considered normal (though in modern terms - more often than not - the consensus of opinion is that 'normal' defies definition).
In other words, science is bordering on, without Actually accusing the masses of some form of insanity within 'delusional' frame terms - as the majority of the civilised (and uncivilised) world have some belief system that goes against the acknowledged scientific explanation of the world - GOD and/or any spiritual beliefs.
Science can't find evidence of a God and so the current premise is that ... scientifically, there is no God or any of the known associations.
Delusional?
Who is?
Who gains from that belief? - Who doesn't and Who decides?
Merit....
Most references to APD appear to be child orientated - aimed at inclusive teaching in order to overcome probable educational issues. Whilst APD is something I've always had, it's only quite recently been diagnosed. Details available are limited and appear generally negative in descriptive terms. This makes me wonder whether the difference is in itself the issue rather than the actuality, if that makes sense?
Though in some small ways the diagnosis has been a relief for me, because it's something I can now refer to.
However, any difference can be a cause or reason for targetting or justifying modified behaviour towards another individual.
APD has been associated with the autistic spectrum and other 'invisible disabilities' and I suspect that these links are creating the biggest hurdle anyone with APD faces.
Clinicians need patients and the means to fund further research, it's more likely they'll receive both if they present the conditions in the negative terms already in common use. Whilst it's entirely possible these do often apply within individual cases, I don't believe APD is accurately portrayed in general terms at all (but then, I wouldn't).
Reactions have varied, I've found, and have been generally disappointingly less than appreciative. People obviously make associations and then will deny having done so.
In real terms any diagnostic suggestion which includes some established difference in mental acuity immediately invokes implications of retardation or less-ablement by association and so generates fear to some extent within the public. When in fact, for me, this is entirely inaccurate.
So ....how it manifests, in day to day life....
People don't notice...
Unless I tell them.
I've learnt various strategies since childhood and have applied them in order to avoid obvious and previously unpleasant experiences. It's only within my family, for example, that I'm comfortable asking someone to repeat a comment several times (and still might be told, "It doesn't matter") , whereas outside of the home I'll keep to my rule of three.
The rule of three (that I use) applies simply because most people dislike repeating themselves, for various reasons (rarely to do with the reason for the request) though they will react in ways that suggest the reason for the request is in someway proof that the individual is bad, stupid and / or inattentive.
So I will use the most coined and readily accepted forms... i.e, "Sorry, would you repeat?"
Or prompt by paraphrasing, "So what you're saying is.... ?"
Sequence and specific word application has always been important to me, I may guess the missing word (if I need to), but prefer to clarify. Sometimes it's the poor use of terms that intrigues me, resulting in a query. Mumbling, and head movements too are often a problem. I lip-read, utilise sign and body language, record the sound of a sentence (by memory), consider context, weight, whole body attitude and intonation.
I may, on occasion, appear intuitive
Hence my interest in paralinguistics.
This is all normal to me, if anything, the diagnosis has highlighted (for me) how different everyone else is. What seems apparent to me is, evidently, not for others.
There are some general disadvantages,
And I rarely make assumptions - though I may use this - by suggestion - as a strategy.
Dishonesty is something I have great difficulty with.
I may (over?) react to specific word/term use - due to their implications.
My children, though they're by no means the only example, have complained, "You don't know what I'm thinking", which (to me) has been more revealing than they'd obviously intended.
I avoid using telephones - I hear all the background 'white' noise that everyone else ignores, filters out.
Noisy areas can prove difficult - in a restaurant say, I maybe trying to focus on what a companion is saying and completely miss a key word, even if they repeat it several times (to their obvious annoyance).
This is because I'm hearing the conversations of everyone around me in addition to the sounds of chairs moving, waiters transferring cutlery, road noise etc etc. It maybe that my companion is placing less emphasis on the key word, perhaps lacking confidence in it's use and so mumbling over that particular word or moving (making it difficult to lip read).
APD is specifically related to hearing, but actually highlights a difference in processing. I say this because, since the diagnosis I've began to realise the implications elsewhere.
For example, someone (a stranger) might say, "What a nice day"
I might not hear 'nice' but from their expressions: facial and demeanour, I may guess the comment is both positive and (probably) refers to the weather.
Most comments are generic - often said.
Unusual word combinations or term use will often attract my attention.
Also I may 'appear' totally disinterested or 'appear' to ignore someone, because I'm actually absorbed in something, (possibly a thought process) and completely unaware of the attention. If there's a great deal of noise, I may give up all attempts to hear someone because I know they'll get annoyed if I keep asking them to repeat themselves. In those situations I may even withdraw physically simply in order to avoid further problems before they occur. This is also why 'day dreaming' is associated with APD.
If I were to pretend, it may result in a reaction considered inappropriate - attempting to guess the content of a comment could result in mistaking seriousness for jest. I may laugh - when I'm expected to frown and tut, be sympathetic, politically correct in response or vice versa.
Often I complain about my memory. I notice when I'm forgetful. I may forget items when shopping, for example.
I generally only make a list when I've forgotten something I need (for a couple of successive weeks) - usually this is something I only purchase once every couple of months. So it's not unusual for me to wander around every aisle - looking for clues.
For example, it's easy to spot the lack of baked beans in the cupboard, but practically impossible to spot the absence of something you rarely use.
Last year I requested a psychological assessment, because of the inferences relating to APD and specifically the suggested inability to recognise the hidden implications of the condition.
The final report was comforting in it's conclusion - that I more than compensate for any noticeable shortcomings and that consequently there's no obvious hindrance in day to day life. Though that doesn't (by definition) explain the processes I naturally apply or undergo in order to achieve this and, sadly - no acknowledgement of intellectual merit.
Possibly the diagnosis has answered a personal question for me.
So many people have told me I'm 'different' but the answers (when asked, "In what way?") have varied and been generally vague, though references have been positive - "In a good way", "It's the way that you think", but inconclusive/elusive.
Adjustment, if any, has been in direct response to the diagnosis - understanding the condition and exploring the personal implications. I'm more than fascinated by it, not least because it underlines for me how different everyone else is.
For me it's a bit like realising why other people can't draw or spell.
Though in some small ways the diagnosis has been a relief for me, because it's something I can now refer to.
However, any difference can be a cause or reason for targetting or justifying modified behaviour towards another individual.
APD has been associated with the autistic spectrum and other 'invisible disabilities' and I suspect that these links are creating the biggest hurdle anyone with APD faces.
Clinicians need patients and the means to fund further research, it's more likely they'll receive both if they present the conditions in the negative terms already in common use. Whilst it's entirely possible these do often apply within individual cases, I don't believe APD is accurately portrayed in general terms at all (but then, I wouldn't).
Reactions have varied, I've found, and have been generally disappointingly less than appreciative. People obviously make associations and then will deny having done so.
In real terms any diagnostic suggestion which includes some established difference in mental acuity immediately invokes implications of retardation or less-ablement by association and so generates fear to some extent within the public. When in fact, for me, this is entirely inaccurate.
So ....how it manifests, in day to day life....
People don't notice...
Unless I tell them.
I've learnt various strategies since childhood and have applied them in order to avoid obvious and previously unpleasant experiences. It's only within my family, for example, that I'm comfortable asking someone to repeat a comment several times (and still might be told, "It doesn't matter") , whereas outside of the home I'll keep to my rule of three.
The rule of three (that I use) applies simply because most people dislike repeating themselves, for various reasons (rarely to do with the reason for the request) though they will react in ways that suggest the reason for the request is in someway proof that the individual is bad, stupid and / or inattentive.
So I will use the most coined and readily accepted forms... i.e, "Sorry, would you repeat?"
Or prompt by paraphrasing, "So what you're saying is.... ?"
Sequence and specific word application has always been important to me, I may guess the missing word (if I need to), but prefer to clarify. Sometimes it's the poor use of terms that intrigues me, resulting in a query. Mumbling, and head movements too are often a problem. I lip-read, utilise sign and body language, record the sound of a sentence (by memory), consider context, weight, whole body attitude and intonation.
I may, on occasion, appear intuitive
Hence my interest in paralinguistics.
This is all normal to me, if anything, the diagnosis has highlighted (for me) how different everyone else is. What seems apparent to me is, evidently, not for others.
There are some general disadvantages,
And I rarely make assumptions - though I may use this - by suggestion - as a strategy.
Dishonesty is something I have great difficulty with.
I may (over?) react to specific word/term use - due to their implications.
My children, though they're by no means the only example, have complained, "You don't know what I'm thinking", which (to me) has been more revealing than they'd obviously intended.
I avoid using telephones - I hear all the background 'white' noise that everyone else ignores, filters out.
Noisy areas can prove difficult - in a restaurant say, I maybe trying to focus on what a companion is saying and completely miss a key word, even if they repeat it several times (to their obvious annoyance).
This is because I'm hearing the conversations of everyone around me in addition to the sounds of chairs moving, waiters transferring cutlery, road noise etc etc. It maybe that my companion is placing less emphasis on the key word, perhaps lacking confidence in it's use and so mumbling over that particular word or moving (making it difficult to lip read).
APD is specifically related to hearing, but actually highlights a difference in processing. I say this because, since the diagnosis I've began to realise the implications elsewhere.
For example, someone (a stranger) might say, "What a nice day"
I might not hear 'nice' but from their expressions: facial and demeanour, I may guess the comment is both positive and (probably) refers to the weather.
Most comments are generic - often said.
Unusual word combinations or term use will often attract my attention.
Also I may 'appear' totally disinterested or 'appear' to ignore someone, because I'm actually absorbed in something, (possibly a thought process) and completely unaware of the attention. If there's a great deal of noise, I may give up all attempts to hear someone because I know they'll get annoyed if I keep asking them to repeat themselves. In those situations I may even withdraw physically simply in order to avoid further problems before they occur. This is also why 'day dreaming' is associated with APD.
If I were to pretend, it may result in a reaction considered inappropriate - attempting to guess the content of a comment could result in mistaking seriousness for jest. I may laugh - when I'm expected to frown and tut, be sympathetic, politically correct in response or vice versa.
Often I complain about my memory. I notice when I'm forgetful. I may forget items when shopping, for example.
I generally only make a list when I've forgotten something I need (for a couple of successive weeks) - usually this is something I only purchase once every couple of months. So it's not unusual for me to wander around every aisle - looking for clues.
For example, it's easy to spot the lack of baked beans in the cupboard, but practically impossible to spot the absence of something you rarely use.
Last year I requested a psychological assessment, because of the inferences relating to APD and specifically the suggested inability to recognise the hidden implications of the condition.
The final report was comforting in it's conclusion - that I more than compensate for any noticeable shortcomings and that consequently there's no obvious hindrance in day to day life. Though that doesn't (by definition) explain the processes I naturally apply or undergo in order to achieve this and, sadly - no acknowledgement of intellectual merit.
Possibly the diagnosis has answered a personal question for me.
So many people have told me I'm 'different' but the answers (when asked, "In what way?") have varied and been generally vague, though references have been positive - "In a good way", "It's the way that you think", but inconclusive/elusive.
Adjustment, if any, has been in direct response to the diagnosis - understanding the condition and exploring the personal implications. I'm more than fascinated by it, not least because it underlines for me how different everyone else is.
For me it's a bit like realising why other people can't draw or spell.
Sunday 3 April 2011
Paralinguistically.....
What fascinates me about mythology, folklore and legend is the inherent truths interwoven that are, I believe, meant to be conveyed and applied as lessons of experience as true today as they were when the stories were created. It interests me how modern perspectives (and this is probably true historically, in so far as we're explained) are distanced from these core elements and what that too explains.
I suppose in many respects it was being introduced to Da Vinci through Dan Brown's best known novel that I regained interest in art, not that I'd strictly lost it... I just hadn't looked beyond immediate impressions. I hadn't, for example, been aware that Da Vinci was quite possibly the greatest master of code or invention, not having explored art in that way.
If we accept that 90% of what we share in informational terms is non verbal, then the greater exchange in any human terms is, in someway, displayed. This then gives any artist unboundless opportunity by virtue of what they command - the instruments, inclusion, suggestion and degree of expression along with the choices in how they do so.
Most exchanges are made unconsciously. Dali explored the subconscious psyche by releasing the conscious reigns of controlled imagery within surrealistic frame terms. Art historians are still attempting to unravel the dialogue contained within Da Vinci's works (especially the Mona Lisa). This fascinates me along with ancient symbolism which today forms a background of information underpinning modern everyday things - these messages are so familiar that we don't consciously notice or remark upon them, and yet we don't overlook them either, we just don't think about it - like breathing.
This interest had led me into researching paralinguistics, parapsychology, and the oldest known or associated origins of basic forms in patterns, gestures and vocalisation. Having said that, artwork does (it seems) necessitate proof of ability at one level before another is appreciated. So it seems necessary to produce or attempt photo quality realism in order to demonstrate underlying skills (and their development) as well as express thoughts, experience, philosophy and understanding in other forms. That's why, in respect to some of my work, I personally consider it to be Neo-Stoic in preference to abstract, surrealist or any other term.
I do think that there needs to be something an artist wants or feels compelled to express before a painting has depth beyond simple perspective and initial impression. Otherwise, it seems they're just filling canvas and/or creating forms without meaning and that's limiting the appeal for me. What motivates me to paint any subject are the feeling(s) I have, wanting to share these and for others to see and feel and know that which makes me want to share.
I suppose in many respects it was being introduced to Da Vinci through Dan Brown's best known novel that I regained interest in art, not that I'd strictly lost it... I just hadn't looked beyond immediate impressions. I hadn't, for example, been aware that Da Vinci was quite possibly the greatest master of code or invention, not having explored art in that way.
If we accept that 90% of what we share in informational terms is non verbal, then the greater exchange in any human terms is, in someway, displayed. This then gives any artist unboundless opportunity by virtue of what they command - the instruments, inclusion, suggestion and degree of expression along with the choices in how they do so.
Most exchanges are made unconsciously. Dali explored the subconscious psyche by releasing the conscious reigns of controlled imagery within surrealistic frame terms. Art historians are still attempting to unravel the dialogue contained within Da Vinci's works (especially the Mona Lisa). This fascinates me along with ancient symbolism which today forms a background of information underpinning modern everyday things - these messages are so familiar that we don't consciously notice or remark upon them, and yet we don't overlook them either, we just don't think about it - like breathing.
This interest had led me into researching paralinguistics, parapsychology, and the oldest known or associated origins of basic forms in patterns, gestures and vocalisation. Having said that, artwork does (it seems) necessitate proof of ability at one level before another is appreciated. So it seems necessary to produce or attempt photo quality realism in order to demonstrate underlying skills (and their development) as well as express thoughts, experience, philosophy and understanding in other forms. That's why, in respect to some of my work, I personally consider it to be Neo-Stoic in preference to abstract, surrealist or any other term.
I do think that there needs to be something an artist wants or feels compelled to express before a painting has depth beyond simple perspective and initial impression. Otherwise, it seems they're just filling canvas and/or creating forms without meaning and that's limiting the appeal for me. What motivates me to paint any subject are the feeling(s) I have, wanting to share these and for others to see and feel and know that which makes me want to share.
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