The Pros Vs The Cons

Parenting is so important to me. I can't emphasise or exaggerate how much of who I am is defined by that single statement.

Being critical, perhaps, I could understand how someone (even my children) may look at me and think, "She's not perfect, she makes mistakes, gets it wrong, does things badly".

Actually, in part response to that very possibility, I constantly scrutinise how I behave, react, prompt, interract with my children and I look for where I'm at fault. If I decide that perhaps the critiscism is appropriate, I then review the options that were/are/could be as alternatives. Taking into consideration what the consequences may be and how my actions, comments or whatever, contribute to that end result. I weigh up the pros and cons:

Who stands to benefit most?

However much I disliked whatever behaviour (etc) I was involved in, was it true that the results could have been better alternatives, and if so, in what way?

Was the reason why I didn't like it more to do with looking like "The Bad Guy" or was it because I'd mishandled/misjudged and/or taken inappropriate action?

What exactly was it that I'd done that had been wrong and in what way?

Why had I behaved like that?

Was there any justification?

Remembering that, and on reflection, would a different course of action produced better results in the same areas and improve?


I want my children to be Happy, Healthy, Humane. That means, as their Mother, it's my duty to best equip them by explaining the world to them in ways they can understand and provide them with the environment to safely discover the world by themselves.

It's true, I'm not on the phone to them every other minute. I'm confident in them. I know that they'll make mistakes sometimes, they're Human. I also know they're intelligent and they're kind. They'll forgive themselves eventually, they're not stupid. They'll know exactly when they've done something Wrong.




How do you know you're being lied to?

How do you know when someone is a liar?

How do you know that what you're being told isn't true?

When do these questions get asked?

If there's a dispute, all you know for sure is that someone's not being honest?

Is there anyway to avoid that?

If you don't know the answer to these questions, would you imagine I'm lying if I admit that I do?



I've asked my children these questions, in a variety of ways and situations. Honesty is also very important to me, like being a Mum, this is intrinsic to me. I may feel guilty about somethings, that doesn't mean I didn't do the right thing, it just means I'm very self critical. Don't make the mistake of imagining I lack judgement. I may be very open minded, supportive and positive, but that doesn't mean I'm not judging. I get annoyed when I don't know when I would have preferred or taken a different course and avoided the problem I later encountered. I forgive myself for taking risks. I considered all the rammifications, I did.


I read an article recently, entitled, "Is using photographs cheating?" (or something to that effect).

It's on an Artists Forum, and I've not replied to it.... yet.

The fact, however is, it's just sensible.