And another host of changes.....
I was becoming increasingly aware of, and unhappy with, the difficulties associated with a relationship that was 'complicated'. Being involved with a married man had some elements of excitement, of course, but it was by no means ideal. I was still income poor and my job at the OPCS, although the contract was extended, was drawing to an end.
Kev's 24th birthday was at the end of March, my last pay day in the current job. Things at home were tense, for both of us. He'd talked about past relationships and some strategic break ups, to avoid present expenses. This made me feel I needed to at least celebrate his birthday with him before attempting to end the relationship again.
Our friends, Suzanne and Rob were now engaged to be married.
In April, I made my decision and arranged to meet him.
It was a Sunday afternoon, not usually a time or day for us to meet.
He picked me up in his car, which he'd parked up the street (out of the sight of my family) and we'd driven to somewhere private to talk.
I knew what I wanted to achieve, I didn't want to hurt his feelings in the process.
I kept it brief.
I phrased carefully with that in mind.
I told him....
"It's time to end this, no matter how much we feel about each other, the bottom line is this.... I want a long term relationship. I'm 18, being involved with a married man is not what I wanted when we started seeing each other. I want what most girls my age want, to have the chance of meeting that Mr.Right who'll sweep me off my feet and to live happily ever after with. Maybe I don't deserve that, but I do deserve the chance to search and find out."
We both cried.
It was brief.
I was sad and emotional but it was also a huge relief.
What happened after surprised me.
