As a child I had many experiences of De ja vu, I thought it was normal until I discovered there was a 'special' term for it (de ja vu - pronounced 'Day Jar Voo' in Scouse/Liverpool speak) and so I started to ask more specific/casual questions about it.
Most were small incidents. Not particularly interesting. I made a small challenge to myself to spot the moment it commenced in real time and make the connection with the last thing that I could remember. Does that make sense?
Sometimes I told people about my experiences.
Initially I noticed that people weren't taking any of them seriously, they were not really interested as such.
Mum and Dad would say, "That's nice"
I was told, "It's not real", "It's a dream", "Your imagination".
It still seemed odd, these 'visions' that I had didn't really make much sense to me. If I were going to choose a story to tell, I'd pick something more interesting and with a happy ending.
Visions included scraps of paper, some words, but not the whole context.
It might be a captured moment, like you've pressed 'Paused'.
I might feel the breeze in my hair, feel the layers of clothing and recognise winter woollen coats and how I was feeling, what I heard in every sense.
I'd tell my Mum, "I was in a classroom, there was water and I could smell paint" or maybe, "I was playing in the sand, I had a bottle and I was measuring".
I remember them because I wanted to discuss them with my Mum, at the time, and about what they might mean, because they confused me.
My Mum reassured me, she told me they were just dreams and not to worry, that I was to forget about them.
Mostly, I did.
Mum had been brought up a devout Catholic. She'd attended Mass regularly several times a week. Having had us children through the assistance of surgery, she'd made a very difficult choice and lived almost daily with the result.
She was also gifted and it scared her.
As a child she'd been sent to stay, along with her brother, with their Aunty. It's possible this happened during the war years (I'm not sure). How long they'd been there, I don't know, but one night (Mum said) something woke her up.
She sat up in bed looking at the core of light that appeared to be floating at the end of her bed. When I asked her to describe it she always struggled and said, "It's hard to say, the light was so bright and pretty it just looked like an angel to me".
When asked what the angel said, Mum could never quote it, she just said, "Well, it told me that I now had a baby sister called Moira".
I think my Mum was about 9 or 10 years old at the time. She hadn't known her Mum (my Grandmother) was pregnant.
The next morning when she went down for breakfast, her Aunt said, "Oh.... I've got a surprise for you!"
Mum said, "I know what it is"
her Aunt said, "You don't, you couldn't know!"
Mum was resolute, "but I do!"
The Aunt said, "Okay, what is it then that you Know?"
Mum replied, "I have a baby sister called Moira"
The Aunt gasped, "How did you Know?!"
Mum then explained about the angel the night before. It turned out that the baby was born just as my Mum woke up to talk to a light.
After my Grandad died, Mum refused to sleep without the bedroom light on.
I think she somehow knew other things, but didn't like talking about it.
A 'good' friend of hers asked her lots of questions whenever she visited and my Mum would often reply, "I don't want to talk about it". Yet her friend would persist.
Whenever I attempted to discuss 'unusual' occurances with my Mum, she would become afraid and tell me that it wasn't good, she didn't know, and not to talk about it.
I read a lot of books.
When visiting Edinburgh in 1977/8. It was summer - June. I was with my Mum, her sister and my brother (I don't remember anyone else with us). My brother and I were playing as we made our way down The Royal Mile towards Holyrood House. Mum and Aunty Moira were in no rush. My brother and I were running forward and then running back, racing with each other.
At one point, I was ahead and was just about to run back when something between the two houses, I was next to, caught my attention. It looked like an alley way entrance. I checked how far away the others were and decided to investigate (I had enough time).
As I stood at the end of the alleyway formed between the two houses, I could see into the courtyard beyond. Initially it seemed quite dull, grey and cold and I could hear the sound of the traffic around Princes' Street.
Then the scene changed, I could see people, sunlight and a large area of deep shade. A man wearing a leather apron stood in sunlight, beside him were a couple of women, they appeared to be talking and next to them seemed to be a barrel. Looking above there was a metal railing and platform, along which a woman was walking. She wore a dark Edwardian styled dress. The skirt swished and I could hear the womans heels as she crossed the platform towards the steps down in the corner opposite to me. Before she was halfway down, the scene began to shift back. The people and sunlight faded, then I noticed the returning buzz of traffic, and that (for a short time) even that had changed.
1985 -
I was sitting in a living room area, there were two open doors between this room and the one beyond (a dining room I think). There was a little girl, I think she was about 2 years old. She had blonde/brown hair (not mousey). Her hair curled at the ends, like she'd had it in very loose rags the night before.
She was toddling over towards me before she fell.
As she began to cry she raised her arms and hands out towards me saying, "Mummy"
What struck me as odd is that I didn't respond the way I would have expected. When I explained this to my husband of some months, I told him that what worried me was that... as the little girl had called me 'Mummy', I thought I should have picked her up straight away.
I did feel, however, that there was 'something' stopping me, I just didn't know at this point what that might be.
I had this 'dream' several times and mentioned it to my Husband who announced it was 'wishful thinking'.
I knew why he said that.
He'd told me just before he proposed (in 1982) that when he was 16 a Consultant explained that he'd never have children due to his disability.
1988 -
I was stood at the front door, I was holding a baby. The baby was wrapped in a shawl, I wondered if I was taking it to be christened and someone spoke to me as I paused in the doorway.
I looked up to see a girl who was about 10 years old, she wore a lemon dress and straw boater.
I was shocked, I realised this was my daughter.
Then the boy stood next to her spoke, I looked at him and knew that he too was my child. He was about 8. He wore a shirt and tie and smart trousers and shoes and a big grin. While I was looking at him I noticed over his shoulder a boy of about 4 or 5 (wearing shorts and a shirt similar) running towards the garden gate. At this point I looked at the man in the car waiting and shouted, "Do you Remember me telling YOU about this?" and he looked startled then nodded in recognition.
When I told my husband I asked him to promise me that he wouldn't forget my prediction. I believe he has kept that promise. Although the event itself may have been different, we had, after the 'vision' one daughter and three sons.
Their current ages are: 22, 20, 17, 14
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