I was discovering a number of the associated complications connected to disability, specifically paraplegia

When I'd moved out of my parents home, I was allowed to take my single bed with me, something to put in the 'spare' bedroom in my new home. My sister had decorated and re-arranged the bedroom we'd previously shared. 

Kev changed almost overnight, 

he told me what 'our' plans were...

We were going to get married and had to save any surplus monies (this was almost non-existent) for the wedding. We didn't go out unless it was a special occasion:- Birthdays or office parties.

When we did, I was often told I looked like a model and although I loved dancing, the opportunities for this had diminished substantially. Fortunately office parties were fairly regular and cheap, usually 3-4 a year (Christmas included).

Kev also had a couple of serious kidney infections during the first year of living together and consequently had spent a week or fortnight in hospital on each occasion. I was warned by medical staff that the nature of these infections was such that they were potentially life threatening.

At home Kev was more concerned with the housework - particularly how well I'd done it. He didn't do any of the housework himself.

While we were both the same grade at work, because he'd been with the Inland Revenue for 7 years at this point, he earned more than I did. This was one of the reasons he gave for taking control of all of our income.

We had a joint bank account, on his insistence. I was allowed £25 per week to be spent on our shopping, incorporated within this amount was any personal expense of mine, including clothing. 

If I didn't have sufficient money or had overspent, I had to justify by producing a detailed summary of every penny spent - literally.

I hadn't learnt to drive and we couldn't afford for me to have driving lessons, but as we travelled to and from work together, we'd bought a car - Kev drove.

Kev liked to go out at lunchtimes, just touring the local shopping centre. I was expected to go along with him. He often complained about the way that I manoeuvred his wheelchair. Any shopping enjoyment I'd previously associated was lost to me.

I no longer saw my friends, due to financial constraints.

When I suggested applying for another job, Kev was very annoyed. He pointed out that being a Civil Servant was practically a job for life, it offered good working conditions, reasonable wages, regard, security and progression - although promotion was currently banned.

He became aggressive.

I was trapped by a combination of circumstances, my own sense of duty/ responsibility, youth and ....